How much is too much?

How much should a parent interfere in the social development of their children? How much is too much?

When I was a kid and had a fight with a friend, it was up to me to solve the situation or take the consequences. Outside of our immediate neighborhood, my parents knew very few of my friend’s parents. So if we had a fight, the parents didn’t get involved except maybe to say “If you can’t get along, then you can’t go there anymore.” But today, if you don’t know intimate details of the parents of your friend’s kids then you are being a negligent parent. This has brought a new set of complications that is driving me insane.

NOW, if kids get in a fight, it demands calls between parents trying to work it out. And here is my problem with that – the kids lose the opportunity to learn how to deal with each other. They don’t learn how to take up for themselves when parents step in over every hurt feeling. This is creating a bunch of whiny kids that run to mom to solve their problems. Yeah, I believe that adults should step in when a child is being a bully. But just because one isn’t getting his way? Or was called a name? Or was ignored? Come on. Give the kids a chance to deal with it.

Hello, my name is Lisa...

and I'm a book-a-holic. How did I come to this conclusion? Several things have happened lately that opened my eyes.

1. I noticed that I have stacks of books in various places around the house. Large stacks in danger of falling over and hurting someone. The stacks are still large despite the fact that I have a ton of books loaned out to different people.
2. I admitted last night that my bookshelves have become the local library. Need a book? Call Lisa and see if she has it.
3. I can't keep up with what I have read (or what I own) without a spreadsheet.
4. I am considering purchasing a Nook. I compared Nook and Kindle and decided that the Nook fits my needs a little better. Because I can still share my books with other people. I like sharing.
5. I looked at my wishlist at Barnes and Noble... 12 honest-to-goodness paper books with covers and 20 e-books. And I have another wishlist @ Amazon with completely different books - another 9 books.

So, what am I going to do about this addiction? Not a damn thing. There are worse addictions.

Decisions, decisions

March, 2009 was a turning point in my life. I know I've written something about this before...but I'm too lazy to go back and see what I actually said. And a year and a half later, my perspective has changed anyway, so.

I January of '09 I turned 40. In March '09 I had my much dreaded mammogram. And we all know how that turned out. So, next year was filled with doctor's appointments, chemo, radiation and all the fabulous things that cancer entails. Well, here it is, July 2010. I've finished everything except for the final reconstruction. We (my little family) made it through the mess, and we are in a much better place than we were before. I know what I can expect from Mike - he really stepped up. OK, it took a little prodding. And for reality to set in. And Evan - what can I say about my little man? He is a strong little boy.

All I have left to do is the final reconstruction - I get rid of these funky shaped tissue expanders and get REAL implants that look like REAL boobs. I'll probably get to do that in September. Yea! Perky boobs! With nipples and everything!!!

To celebrate, I want to get my first (and probably last) tattoo. I want a phoneix - this was a suggestion from Miss Grace (who has one of the most awesome tattoos of all time). I don't even know if she remembers the suggestion, but it stuck in my head. I want something feminine...and it took a while, but I think I've found what I want to use for a pattern. Except I want the body shaded in either a crimson or pink.

Holiday Weekend...plenty of drama to be had!

The weekend was VERY eventful. We took a quick trip to Fairhope to spend time with family in one of the coolest little towns in Alabama. Mike had to work Friday and be back at work Tuesday, so he and a friend came Friday night and left Monday. Evan and I were there earlier Friday and didn't leave until Tuesday.

Quick rundown:

Friday night Mike and Scott were pulled over 1 block from Becky's house. Because Mike had his hand out the window and Scott had on the bright lights (trying to find street signs). They were accusing Mike of throwing something out the window? Anyway, they weren't doing anything wrong and were released. Whatever.

Then Saturday morning someone broke into the cars. If it was unlocked and had anything of value, it was stolen. Our car didn't get hit. George lost his satelite radio and his wallet. Had to spend Sat morning with the bank getting that worked out. Becky lost a bag of sunscreen, sunglasses, MP3 player... So, not as bad as it could have been.

Oh, and I hit a grill with my car. That's the second one I have hit. Mike is threatening to get grill stickers and put one on my car every time I hit one. Like a WWII bomber. But he wasn't mad - that in itself is a miracle.

We spent the rest of the day at the Bay getting hammered, um, I mean working on our tans. Then we came back to the house and grilled steaks, boiled shrimp and had a blast by the pool. There was a house full of people - 7 adults, 5 kids, you get the picture. Everybody was having a great time. All of the adults had washed off the Bay and were dressed - just hanging by the pool. The kids were all inside watching TV and playing video games. And then Asshole Neighbor showed up - a good combination of hammered and baked. He decided to tackle some people into the pool. Which is all fine and good - when people don't have cell phones in their pockets. And of course, he refuses to help pay for a new one.

I have to admit something. Last year, there was a person that I referred to as, well, something not really nice. She was abrasive and I could not escape from her. And I think that was really the problem. Not her, but the fact that I couldn't escape. Last year I couldn't get in the water - I was still healing from surgery, so when you are trying to avoid infection, Mobile Bay is not the place to swim. So I stayed under a tent all day. This year? I could go wherever I wanted - and I did. She's OK in small doses. And I think Evan has a crush on her daughter.

Fireworks were wonderful, food was great, kids were great, made a lot of new friends.

And the Anti-BP sentiment is strong...even with the kids. I didn't get a good pic of his sail, but it says: BP lies

Lesson from the weekend

I am no longer 18. What I mean by that is...I can no longer be in the sun without sunscreen. When I was young, I could get and keep a tan in a heartbeat. Burn? Who me? What's that? I grew up in Jackson, MS in the late 70's, early 80's and moved to Birmingham, AL in 1984. What I'm saying is...I'm used to hot sun and humid air. To prepare for summer back then, I would grab the Crisco Oil or Baby Oil, a blanket, a boom box and climb on the roof. I would cover myself in oil and relax for hours. Yes, hours. And I would turn a nice golden brown. Every time. By the end of summer, I looked Native American, even though I barely have a drop of that in me.

This weekend I had a couple of hours that I didn't have something to do, somewhere to be or someone to take care of. So I went to Mom's to get some sun. I spent 2 hours in the water. One on each side. I used sunscreen on the front...OK, it was only a 4 SPF, but that's better than what I ususally do. On the front I got a little pink. Not bad, just a little color. But the back. Well, I was alone, so I didn't have an assistant. And I don't really have all my range of motion back in my arms. Who am I trying to kid? I just plain didn't put any sunscreen on my back. At all. And then I fell asleep, face down in on the float. The only thing that woke me up was breathing in a little water when my face slipped on the float. All the skin on the backside that was showing was red. Not just pink. Red.

Today, the red is fading and turning brown, like I was hoping. By next weekend, I'm hoping that I will remember my lessons...

Good advice...

“If I were asked to give what I consider the single most useful bit of advice for all humanity it would be this: Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and when it comes, hold your head high, look it squarely in the eye and say, ‘I will be bigger than you. You cannot defeat me.’” - Ann Landers

“Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music – the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.” - Henry Miller

“Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.” - Cherie Carter-Smith

Busy, busy, busy

It has been so busy at home, I've barely had time to breathe. Except yesterday. The boys ditched me so I went to Mom's and played in her pool. Alone. It was SO nice. I won't pass up a day like that!

What has kept me so busy? Well, my oven went out a few weeks ago. It was a drop in combo. I really didn't want to replace it. When my parents bought their current house, Mom didn't like the oven. So she replaced it. And THANK GOODNESS, she put the old one in the garage. It still works just fine, it just isn't pretty. So, this past week Dad and my husband installed it. Honestly?? Dad installed and Mike was the errand boy. And, by the way, not one single man involved in this knows how to read a tape measure. They all took measurements, but the oven was too big. There was sawing of countertops and cabinets. It all made me very nervous. But I don't care. Especially since I didn't have to buy a new one. I just had to buy a new washer and dryer, a new oven was not in the budget.

On top of that, I had a Pampered Chef party. May is Whip Cancer month, so I held a fundraising party. Instead of getting all kinds of free stuff, 25% of the retail sales will go to American Cancer Society. So. There was the prep work for that and grocery buying. I had 11 people for the event, which is a pretty good turn out. We had it at my Mom's due to the construction mess in my kitchen.

Wags is still holding his own. A little too well. This past week Mike has been bitten twice, the cat has been pinned against a door once. Don't feel too bad for Mike - knowing how protective Wags is of Evan, he went into Evan's room in the middle of the night, didn't turn a light on, and tried to kiss Evan. Yes, I said tried. I think he finally understands what I've been trying to tell him about dogs and territory and the one they have chosen to protect. We have decided that Wags will have to sleep in the kennel when Evan has company. No way would I risk a child being bitten. Evan is doing a great job of taking care of him. Very responsible - no complaining.

I am very thankful for Mike's new job. But I had forgotten how it is to have to deal with a retail schedule and no vacation time when you are trying to take a trip. We had an opportunity to go to our favorite place next weekend...but Mike has to work. I am not complaining. Much. Evan and I could go alone, but that wouldn't really be fair since it's HIS family that we would be going to visit. So I guess I'll try to find something for Evan to do so I can enjoy some alone pool time...