I think this says it all some days...

Thoughts

Today is a slow day at work. I'm running reports that are taking ages, so I have time to sit and think. A dangerous notion. What I've been thinking about lately is the people in my life. And people who aren't directly IN my life, but have inspired me to DO better. To BE better. To take what is given and do what I can with it. Life is not about being pampered. No one is owed happiness. To quote a friend "The world is not here to make you happy. You have to do that yourself."

The people IN my life:

I'm lucky. I have an incredible family. Wonderful friends. People who supported me and cheered me on when I was going through my treatments. I have a husband that does love me. Yes, I complain about having to keep him in line...but I don't doubt his love. I have a son that I adore. He is growing into quite the charming, responsible young man. Yes, there were times when he was younger that I wondered why I had a child. And I'm sure there will be more of those times when he hits those teen years. But through all of those times and hard work I have to remember that I am the one that brought him here. It is MY responsibility to raise him to the best of my ability.

People who have inspired me to do better:

GB. A former co-worker. We were never close. Wouldn't even call us friends. Co-workers. She was recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She isn't even 40. She has 2 small children. She has a blog on caringbridge.org where she has been logging her journey. Reading that has inspired me. Her attitude is incredible. Her family has rallied around her and she is THANKFUL. Her latest entry is titled "Luckiest girl in the world".

MT. E is a nephew of a friend. He is 11. He was diagnosed with stage 4 high risk neuroblastoma. Cancer. E and his mother, MT, have both been an inspiration. I don't know how they do it. They have spent the last 5 years getting E the treatment he needs at St. Jude. He has been so strong for so long. And now the end of his fight is coming. There are no treatments left. No options. They are just watching him decline. Yet, she holds it together for him, her other son and her husband. She finds the joy in the small accomplishments. Life certainly isn't handing her bon-bons. But she is refusing to sit in the corner and give up.

So, when I'm feeling sorry for myself, when I wonder why I should keep trudging along when things don't go my way... I look to all of these people to find the strength I need. The strength I want. The strength I want Evan to have.

I think I've fallen off the edge of the earth

This summer flew by way too fast. School has started and it feels like I accomplished nothing this summer. That bedroom I wanted to arrange? Still a disaster. Craft projects? Started, but not completed. Seeing friends? Well, THAT I did accomplish, though not as much as I would like.

Sips And Storkes with LW - she is the person that introduced me to my dear husband. She gets a lot of blame when I'm mad.

I also went to see 100 Monkeys again - and they were just as good the second time, if not better. Love, love, love the Monkeys. And they had 2 bands with them that were awesome - so I have new music to listen to. Now, I just need to get ready for the Foo Fighters in Atlanta!!!

One project that I did finish (though not before school started) was getting Evan's hair cut. I've always said that I didn't care if his hair was long - as long as it was clean and neat. Well, when puberty hit, neat went out the window. The longer it grows, the more body it has in it. And by body, I mean giant curls that can't be tamed. And another problem - he has SO MUCH hair that it wouldn't dry. The Before pics are at least an hour after he showered and his hair is STILL WET. It looks like he has gel in it, but no. Just water.

So, I turned to Peter - the most awesome hair guy ever. Evan thinks that whatever Peter says is law, so all I had to do was let Peter know that I wanted it shorter and voila, instant success that Evan is happy with. Excuse the goofy look. He wouldn't quit being silly.

Teenage boys...they will be the death of my grocery planning!

This past weekend Evan had a friend over - one who had never been over before. A sweet kid - Evan has been to his house and we have taken this boy on some adventures - skating, bowling, etc. Anyway, they had been playing video games for a while and came out of the cave for drinks and snacks (oh, how snacks and teenage boys will KILL your grocery budget!). I heard the boys laughing in the kitchen so I went in to see what was so funny. Well, Evan was laughing at his friend because he had never seen ice cube trays before. We don't have an ice maker (we don't have enough water pressure to push the water through the hose - it freezes before it gets to the maker) - we just use trays. It was just unreal to me that he had never seen them before!

I'm ready for school to start back - just a few more days and we can get back into a routine. Since Evan has now quit guitar lessons, we can acutally have a normal Saturday! We can have friends over on Friday night after football games. We can do things on Saturdays that I used to have to get done during the week. We can plan parties for the college (Roll Tide!!!) games!!! I'm already working on my game day menu for Evan and his friends....

Fourth of July Festivities

Over the 4th, we took a trip to Fairhope. We all had a great time - as you can tell by this picture of the guys.

Little G and Big G
My 'other' son, Evan and Mike

The next weekend, I got busy. I started work on my Halloween quilt. I've had the materials for ages, but just got started. I want it complete by the first of October. I think I'll make it. All I have to do is put the front, back and batting together and then bind it. Easy, peasy. Next project?? A Grinch Christmas quilt!!!

Front

Back

My Precious Angel

This was a wild weekend. Since I only have a boy, I have to borrow my nieces from time to time. One, I only have occasional access to. The other? I can get her any time I want - I wish she was mine.

But what I love the most is when she requests me!!! This past weekend was La's very first dance recital. Her Aunt Lara and I had planned to go together. Well, La is 4 - and very much the girly girl. Right now, she and my nephew are staying with my parents. Mom has taken over 'dance' duty - taking her to and from class, making sure she has all the stuff she needs.  Thursday after dance, she informed my mom that Aunt Lisa would be doing her make up for the recital because she does a better job. Good thing Mom's skin is as thick as mine! So, I called Aunt Lara and we changed our plans. She just met us there and acted as photographer! I was in charge of hair and make up, Mom was in charge of costumes. And now, I will indulge in photos!

We wrapped her in a blanket to avoid getting make up on her costume... Do you know how hard it is to put mascara on those little blond lashes?

 And lipstick on those little lips? Especially since she either wanted to pucker or talk.

 Of course, she wanted to give me some color. On my neck.

 Here we are double teaming her... Yes, that's my Mom. Love, love, love her.

 And here she is, ready for the stage!

 And after the first number (theme from Beauty and the Beast) there was a costume change.... This one suits her personality...

 They danced to Fun, Fun, Fun by the Beach Boys. She LOVED that one!

 After it was over, she got her flowers from Aunt Lara and Aunt Lisa... Papa brought her some gorgeous roses from his garden, my mom had her a little ballerina figurine and her dad had her a teddy bear wearing a tutu. She was exhausted!



Time

Time is slipping away so fast. Yesterday it really hit me just how fast the past 2 years have flown. So much has been going on, and I've learned so much.

Exactly 2 years ago today, I had a port placed in my chest for chemo treatments. Yesterday I had it removed. It brought home the news that I WILL be ok - after all, if they thought I would need it, they would have left it in. As a matter of fact, I wanted to keep it a while longer - just in case. But my oncologist insisted I have it removed. So, I did. It's a little sore, a little tender. No big deal.

Also, I no longer have a little boy. I have a young man. With body hair. And an attitude. He's 12 - and alrealy taller than I am. He and his dad wear the same size shorts (waist size). His feet are bigger than his dad's. He likes a girl, but he's too shy to talk to her. But he makes sure his hair is done, his teeth are brushed and his clothes look nice before he leaves for school. You know, for her. ACK!!!

6th grade was harder than I thought it would be. It started off really rough. Kids can be cruel. Especially to children who are a little different (tall, short, fat, skinny, smart, slow). Anything outside the 'norm' brings the taunts and name calling. Believe me, things like that impact a child's outlook on everything - especially their self-worth. It takes a lot more to build a child back up than it does to tear one down.

Work has been ... busy. Like most companies, we have seen a little downsizing. That translates into everyone doing a little/lot more with less. But, when things are busy, the day doesn't drag by.

Reading. I've read more books over the past 2 years than at any point in my life. Just since last July (when I purchased my Nook) I have purchased and read 60+ ebooks. Plus a few 'real' books have been purchased and read.

I've learned who my friends are - who I can trust - who I can count on (even if I've never met the person in real life). I've also learned that it's ok to cut someone out of your life if they hurt your heart beyond repair.

I've also learned to ask for help. It used to KILL me to ask for help from anyone. It made me feel weak - like I wasn't good enough. But really, when people know you are going through something, they WANT to help.  It does't just help you, it helps them feel a little less helpless.

I've also learned that you don't have to WAIT for someone to ask for help. Just do something. No matter how simple it seems to you (bringing over a pot of spaghetti) it will mean the world to them.

My favorite quote: “Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music – the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.” - Henry Miller